- submitted by s.levenstein on 09/29/2009
Disgraced Merrill Lynch CEO Shops At IKEA. Bank On It
By Steve Levenstein
When asked who's to blame for the Great Financial Crisis of 2008 (and 2009 -- it ain't over yet folks), people stop and scratch their heads. Maybe it's partly due to the magnitude of the fiasco but very few individual names have bubbled to the top of the meltdown pot. John Thain is one.
Remember Thain? He's the former CEO of Merrill Lynch & Co. who was busily rearranging the deckchairs on the Titanic while the ship was sinking like a stone. To be exact, Thain not only went ahead with an exceedingly poorly timed office reno at Merrill, he spent like a drunken sailor and put it all on the floundering company's dissolving dime.
The only good thing about Thain's spending spree -- which included a $35,000 "commode" and a $25,000 table -- was that it distracted critical eyes from the billions of bonuses he was disbursing to his crack (or crack-addict) team of executives. It also earned Thain a pink slip last January.
So what's ML's tarnished golden boy been up to lately? Like a bad penny, Johnny's turned up -- and not at the Pentagon's purchasing department either. Nope, he's giving speeches, most recently at the University of Pennsylvania's prestigious Wharton Business School.
Now one could debate the wisdom of having Thain, the poster boy for corporate arrogance, incompetence and greed (AIG for short), sharing his tips & tricks with the nation's next generation of business leaders. Expecting him to be all contrite and regretful about his role in bringing down the financial house would be naive to say the least.
And yet, that's what happened. Maybe Thain figured he had nothing left to lose. What post-meltdown corporation was going to hire him as their CEO anyway?
Whatever his motivations, Thain used his time behind the Wharton podium to set a few things straight. For one, he said he reimbursed Bank of America (Merrill Lynch's buyers and shortly thereafter, Thain's firers) to the tune of $1.2 million to cover the profligate office spending. A drop in the bucket to be sure (BoA paid $29 billion for Merrill) but Thain has belatedly recognized the value of making a good impression.
He also cracked the odd joke, most notably stating, "that (the redecoration) was a mistake, and I'm sorry that I did that. If I had that to do over again, I'd furnish it in IKEA."
Now it's interesting to contemplate what the nice folks at IKEA thought about Thain's back-handed compliment. Actually there's no need to wonder -- IKEA spokesperson Mona Astra Liss, which sounds like something you'd find in the Swedish furniture retailer's framing gallery, had a few subtle jibes of her own when asked to comment on Thain's speech.
"John, stop by IKEA anytime," replied Liss, who seemingly can't wait to show Thain "a wealth of furniture choices" while spoon-feeding him meatballs. Now there's a scene we'd like to see.
Maybe Thain has a new career opportunity in the offing: as an IKEA pitchman. It might sound something like this... "Hi, I'm John Thain and believe me, I know how to spend money I don't have on things I don't need, and it almost got me 'lynched'. Now I shop smart; I shop at IKEA. Good products and great value, and you can take THAT to the bank -- I wish I did."
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Steve Levenstein was born & raised at the then-northern edge of metro Toronto, Canada. Looking through the prism of the suburbs has not only given him a slightly skewed view of society, but has also helped frame the wider world as a series of variations on a theme. Closer to home, Toronto's multicultural mix acts as a rich, vibrant tonic -- an essential elixer that, by putting people out of their place, highlights the common humanity which lies within.
After a 15-year dip in the corporate pool, Steve abandoned the daily commute to focus on his first love, writing, and spending time with his family. Steve's wife of 18 years hails from Tokyo, Japan, and provides a unique window into the delights and diversions of modern Japanese culture while his 2 sons (the younger an established tech blogger in his own right) help keep the house from getting too quiet. Steve writes for a number of respected blogs including InventorSpot, WebUrbanist, Dark Roasted Blend and The Thinking Blog....read more rants
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