B-Rant

- submitted by . on 09/27/2009

  
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"If We Have Sex, Pete Will Never Know." Uh, Wrong

When someone tells you, no one will ever know, don't believe it. Someone will know.  And that hot babe you think you're chatting with online may not be the woman you think she is. In fact, she may not be a woman at all...she may be the woman's boyfriend. She may be Pete. You're talking to Pete, moron, and Pete doesn't want to have sex with you or you to have sex with his girlfriend


Snagged good!

For those who want a character index:

  • "me" is Kim, girlfriend of Pete. [only it turns out me isn't really Kim.]
  • "drakkertr" is the screen name for some guy, Pete's friend, who's hitting on Pete's girlfriend [or thinks he's hitting on Pete's girlfriend]

As best we can tell, here's what happened...

  1. drakkertr (D), Pete's friend, was planning a serious hook-up with Pete's girlfriend, Kim
  2. Unfortunately for D, Pete's girlfriend here was really Pete. Pete is 1 jealous conspiratorial mo-fo. D is toasted!
  3. D: Huh, Wah? Shock ensues.
  4. Seconds pass. D gamely attempts a recovery. Yo, dude, I was joking, dude, ha ha. Sounds like BS. Almost pulls it off for a second (at least on us). But ultimate smell test: BS.
  5. Pete spits on D's BS. Not a happy friend. Indicates he plans to communicate his unhappiness to D.
  6. D understands, starts peeing in his pants.
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