B-Rant

- submitted by . on 11/20/2009

  

Consider This: The Latest In Unnecessary Home Entertainment Technology

Just in time for the holidays. A breakthrough in home entertainment-recreation. Seeking investors and fun-loving (and very lazy or sleepy) home owners. Take a look...

Our first reaction when we saw this (not knowing what we were going to see) was...whoa. Really, doesn't that first couple seconds when the contraption, the screen thing, slithers out from under the bed have a bit of a sexual thing going on? At least subconsciously?

Then the contraption unfolds and we're thinking, huh, this is some kind of kinky exercise machine...in bed, interesting. And it's metamorphisizing -- the hydraulics unfolding from under then up to the bed, and its robotic movements (it even pauses a second, facing the camera) reminds us almost (again, fleeting here) of some early prototype for those cheezy 1970s-80s sci-fi/horror movie robots. (Actually maybe a prototype for the dopey robot in Short Circuit? OK, not really.)

Thing is, we confess there is something cool or nutty-positive about this invention.

But that doesn't make it -- this BED-TV -- not silly or unnecessary or even really not borderline idiotic. We're pretty sure we won't be wanting this for the holidays and we seriously doubt any investors will be eager to pour their money into it. There are far better stupid things to invest in, like American retail stocks or car-maker junk bonds or even this way more idiotic exercise machine.

What we have here is this: Simply a new place to put the TV in our bedroom. And you know what, we don't need one. The floor or the wall or a table or a TV stand...they all work fine. You may ask: What if the room is too small to fit a TV? How many microscopic rooms have you seen lately? And, for all the extra money we'd be spending to buy this hydraulic-powered Bed-TV, we'd rather just buy a bigger room.

But let's say BED-TV doesn't cost more (which it does), would we want it anyway? Yes...if we were permanently anchored to our bed (e.g., quadriplegic) or near blind, unable to see beyond 4 feet from our head without binoculars.

We just don't want it. Not to mention, what happens when it breaks -- and it will -- how do we repair it, whom do we take it to? An electronics store, or Sleepys, the Mattress Professionals?

It's complicated. It's funky, possibly even a little kinky. It's different. Would we literally kick it out of bed if one day we found it there? Probably not. But would we pay for it in advance and bring it to bed? No. We have better options -- inside and outside the bed....read more rants

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Best Invention of the Year

- submitted by Anonymous on 11/20/2009

Where would you put all the crap now stashed under the bed?


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