B-Rant

- submitted by b-team on 07/05/2007

Bad Neighgors: An Open Letter To Our Neighbors -- Chronic Borrowers

Dear Neighbors:

You know who you are. (And we don't mean the Franklins. You're fine, especially after our little talk.) So, dear neighbors...

We love to share. It's an excellent value. We encourage it in our children. We even try to get our pets to understand the concept. But what you don't seem to get -- which even our cat does, even after her 'accident' and subsequent brain surgery -- is there are limits.

If you want to borrow our grass seed, return it. Even better, get us some new grass seed to replace the nearly full bag you "borrowed." If you borrow our lawn mower or deck chairs, try to remember they're ours not yours, and don't leave them in your garage for several months, and lend them to dozens of your other good friends.

You want that new great book we bought, or DVD, or those fabulous serving trays we just got that are perfect for parties? Fine, ask, but don't ask for everything, all the time, whenever the impulse tickles your brain.

Finally, here's the companion value to "sharing is good": If you're always borrowing our stuff, what would be really nice is that you at least occasionally shared some stuff with us. And, if you don't have any stuff that we'd want to borrow, then get some. Got it? Because, as much as you think we like you (and it's not as much as you think), we're really not that interested in becoming your free 1-stop shop alternative to buying your own things at Blockbuster, Home Depot, Circuit City, Amazon, Walmart, Acme, CVS and everywhere else normal people buy what they want.

We've talked to you about this and you've said, of course, you understand, you'll get us back those barbecue tongs and our bicycles asap. (We still haven't seen them.) You laugh and we laugh and, still, we know you've got our 2 basketballs somewhere on your side of the fence.

We've tried to be good neighbors. We've tried to go with the flow, act (even feel) like this really isn't a big deal, what's ours is yours, etc etc. But here's the thing: What's ours isn't yours. We're sick of your taking our stuff -- because too many times when we want it, we can't find it or use it; and, really the reason we bought it in the first place is because we wanted it and wanted to use it.

So, we want to be clear and, if you could see us now as we express this, you'd see that we are clear and we're not laughing or smiling; we've got what most people would describe as a furious end-of-the-line rage-filled scowl.

Return our stuff. Now! All of it. If you don't -- let's say by tomorrow --we're going to come over to your house and, after taking our stuff ourselves, give your house an appropriate and long overdue makeover. And we're not talking "makeover" that involves hanging new wall paper or replacing your piece-of-crap furniture with designer stuff. Although we are talking "makeover" that involves the liberal use of home improvement tools. (You may have forgotten, but our bro-in-laws are in the construction business and they love to use their power tools.)

One other thing . . . . We've noticed the new Jacuzzi you installed on your patio. Of course, how could we not -- you're in it all day and night, screaming and carousing like post-pubuscent teens, keeping up your neighbors half the night. But the Jacuzzi looks nice. It seems really fun. We'd like to borrow that. So why don't you deliver that by tomorrow too. You understand, yes?

Have a good rest of the day, neighbors.

We look forward to seeing you at the block party next week. (Oh yea, and try to bring something this year. We're confident this is going to be a year of many firsts for you.)

All Best,
Your (former) Regular Lenders

...read more rants

• Get it off your chest

my former best neighbor

- submitted by renny on 07/05/2007

my former best neighbor thought i was her library. every book i bought, hey ren, drop it off after you're done, i love your taste.

i finally said, guess what, there's a public library downtown. there are 3 college libraries within 5 miles. borrow from them.

i love her to death. but she's so cheap and lazy. and 1/2 the books you "lend" you never get back.

i totally agree. i hate

- submitted by booklender on 07/05/2007

i totally agree. i hate lending books. most of the time i forget about them, and i want to have them. i value them, like a lot of my photographs.

they cost a few bucks. go out and buy them, or, yes, try the library.

if it's once and a while, fine. but that's it for me.

On my block there was this

- submitted by carol on 07/05/2007

On my block there was this one person who went house to house borrowing cliche stuff. Sugar, flour, sometimes ice cream. Crazy.

We finally had an intervention, bunch of us on the street. She was clueless. Denied borrowing things regularly. Almost laughable.

We could care less about the cost of the stuff. But get real. Go to the supermarket and shop. And this lady had money up to the ceiling.

Borrowing interventions. I

- submitted by Anonymous on 07/05/2007

Borrowing interventions. I love that. I should have one with my sister in law.

We can't buy a new dvd or cd without her taking it. I almost buy 2 now, just knowing she's going to do it.

I tell my husband, he tells me I'm exaggerating or overreacting. Then I hear him yell at his brother about it too.

Maybe we need a new compulsive borrowers organization to provide help to all in need

In my town, outside Atlanta,

- submitted by Atlantagirl on 07/05/2007

In my town, outside Atlanta, we have a saying, you get what you put in.

We're all generous, but if somebody's freeloading all the time, we let them know.

My next door neighbor any time he did yard work thought he could walk into our garage and take all the tools he needed. No, he couldn't.

You gotta tell the truth, communicate what you want and,finally, they usually understand.

My neighbors are fantastic.

- submitted by careles on 07/05/2007

My neighbors are fantastic. We borrow from each other and it works beautifully.

I hear people at work complaining. But we're lucky. Course I hate to read, so I never have any books anybody would want. Opera is my thing and no way I'm lending those cds out.

Chronic borrowers are worse

- submitted by Anonymous on 07/05/2007

Chronic borrowers are worse than chronic complainers. I hate them. Get your own life, I say.

Am i being too unkind?

My worst kind of

- submitted by jan on 07/05/2007

My worst kind of neighbor:

1. never shut up 2. think their my best friend and aren't close 3. nosy 4. borrow too much, that, i can control.

Here's something different.

- submitted by Anonymous on 07/05/2007

Here's something different. My neighbor always wants to leave her kids with my babysitter. My sitter.

That's not borrowing, but it's presumptuous and irritating. Sometimes, in an emergency, no problem, but regularly.

I have to have a talk with her. Afterwards, she'll probably then ask to borrow my car.

I think being generous is

- submitted by toni on 07/05/2007

I think being generous is important, but there comes a time when neighbors shoujld respect who you are. Borrowing doesn't mean keeping things. With some it seems the more generous you are, the more they take advantage. It's a shame but that's the way it is.

Borrowings

- submitted by Fred DeFreeloader on 07/05/2007

I just wanted to let you know I am bringing back your things. At one time I thought borrowing brought us closer together. That is not the case. Some of your things may not be in the same condition, but I'll do my best to shine them up, so at least your tools can pass your wifes visual exam. If I had the money you do, I probably would not borrow so much stuff. Perhaps if you let me know in the beginning, you are not a lender. I have a lot of stuff too, that I just hold onto "in case I need it". My spouse reminds me I have too much stuff, so lending "my" stuff is easy and I feel like I am contributing to a better world. Lending is power but I also think lending allows us to feel better about all the crap we buy :>

Dear Fred DeFreeloader, We

- submitted by constantlenders on 07/06/2007

Dear Fred DeFreeloader, We don't have a lot of money and you've probably got more than we do. We're just generous. But we agree that borrowing can bring us together so, from now on, we'll borrow from you. We like your BBQ grill that cost you like $1500, why don't we start with that. After you bring that over, we also like the BMW in your driveway, boy that must have cost a mint. You can use our Toyota and we'll borrow your Beamer, sounds good?

I think we're going to like this now and I think we are going to get a lot closer.

2 years ago a neighbor

- submitted by Anonymous on 07/06/2007

2 years ago a neighbor borrowed my grateful dead live cd collection. he never returned it. we were good friends. i thought about suing him. i loved those cds. i didn't sue and we haven't spoken since. he claims he did return the cds or had someone else return them, but that is pure bs. some people surprise you.

Anybody who lends anybody

- submitted by deadster on 07/06/2007

Anybody who lends anybody else his dead collection is a fool. I'd like to feel sorry for you but you're such a fool I can't. Sorry.

Never lend anything to some

- submitted by Anonymous on 07/06/2007

Never lend anything to some unless you're comfortable losing it. Somebody said that, I can't remember who, but it's true.

This letter nails it! I

- submitted by lovethis on 07/07/2007

This letter nails it! I couldn't have written better myself. LOL

OMG to funny!

- submitted by Anonymous on 07/09/2007

OMG to funny!

TOO funny too!

- submitted by speller on 07/09/2007

TOO funny too!

Yesterday I confronted my

- submitted by lettinggo on 07/10/2007

Yesterday I confronted my neighbor who still had my leaf blower and stack of leafbags. He was embarrased and I told him I'm not lending himm stuff any more unless he returns things. He already had my kid's wagons. He apologized. It felt awesome. I was so tired of pretneding I didn't care. I do and he should too.

Let's start a movement,

- submitted by Anonymous on 07/10/2007

Let's start a movement, lettingo, being truthful and confronting those who steal our things but pretend they're only borrowing.

Borrowers unite! We've got

- submitted by Anonymous on 07/11/2007

Borrowers unite! We've got to stand up against these fiends who want us to return all their stuff. Live free to borrow or die!

Ho ho ho where'sd the rally?

- submitted by rabblerouser on 07/12/2007

Ho ho ho where'sd the rally?

I loaned my neighbor my

- submitted by Anonymous on 07/16/2007

I loaned my neighbor my childs car seat for her visiting grand daughter. I had asked for it back a few times with no results. Yesterday they moved and what did I see in the HUGE garbage pile by the road? You guessed it...MY CAR SEAT! It was shredded and in the rain. How sad, but on a happy note...she's gone and can't borrow anything else. I wonder where my dress, booster seat and other things are?

Strangest request

- submitted by Anonymous on 08/01/2007

I was living in a duplex,new neighbor moved in downstairs. She came up to BORROW bacon drippings!

This describes my next door

- submitted by Ustoo on 10/17/2007

This describes my next door neighbors. They're parasites and jusst don't get it. It's infurirating but we've done nothing and we have to.

a solution

- submitted by Anonymous on 10/17/2007

that's what this site was designed to solve: www.neighborring.org - its the first one to have a way of tracking loans of possessions between people.

Funny. I lend my neighbors

- submitted by Anonymous on 10/17/2007

Funny. I lend my neighbors nothing becausee for too long they never returned anything. Keeps things simple.

Neibhybors are slime! Hope

- submitted by Peace on 10/17/2007

Neibhybors are slime! Hope this guy demolilshes the neighbors' house. LOL

Peace above wants house

- submitted by CHILLGURL on 10/17/2007

Peace above wants house demolished, glad you didn't use WAR as your name, would hate to see what you'd want then!

Some neighbors take until

- submitted by fairisfair on 10/17/2007

Some neighbors take until you won't let them. I hate ungenerous people. I want to be nice but if they never recripocate or never lend anything to others, then forget it, they're not getting my stuff.

I'm laughing from this

- submitted by Yarda on 10/17/2007

I'm laughing from this letter. I'm going to copy it and send it to 2 of my neighbors who still have our portable stereo and my BBQ aprons.

I need the writer's brother

- submitted by Sweetster on 10/17/2007

I need the writer's brother in laws to go to the people across the street and get my DVDs back. They claim they returned them. No they didn't. Big guys with power tools sounds OK!

Ha ha, I've emailed this

- submitted by Anonymous on 10/17/2007

Ha ha, I've emailed this straight to my friends on the street who owe me $100. I can't wait to gett their reply.

pushy neighbor wants to use my car

- submitted by Enough on 08/20/2008

Two weeks ago some neighbors decided to start a campaign in regard to my leased vehicle. They decided since I'm a caregiver for my mom and had to give up my career to do so that I should let them use my car at their leisure. "It just sits in the garage anyway". These people are completely insane or on drugs. Everyday these nuts send me e-mails with different psycho versions of why I should do so. By the way they own a new mercedes which they lend to their daughter...since she trashed her own car!!!!!!!! Needless to say I blocked their e-mails. Spooky that it seems they've been watching my daily activities. What would be a normal response to these nuts? I've decided to just ignore them. If they step it up even a notch suppose we should call the police. Anyone have any thoughts on this one? Thanks.

Pushy neighbor want to use your leased car

- submitted by Anonymous on 06/29/2009

Put it in writing...email back, do not do this verbally so that you have written, dated proof:

Dear ??: As per your repeated requests to borrow my leased car, I would be willing to lend my leased car to you with on the provision that you return to the dealership and sign an amended Lease Agreement Contract to include your name(s) on 1/2 payment, 1/2 liability, 1/2 allowed mileage with assigned responsibility for over usage, that you provide the required proof of valid insurance to the leasing company and that you would be responsible for any expenses incurred to amended above mentioned Lease Agreement.

Otherwise I cannot and will not lend this car to anyone, as I held legally responsible for this vehicle.

Or use some of the above wording and make a written contract with the stipulation of a $5000/$10000 CASH security deposit.

Please inform me in writing of your decision.

Either way they will leave you alone because a) you'll have written proof of harassment for the police b) you'll have written guaranteed for liability protection