In preparing the soil for planting, you will need several tools. Dynamite would be a beautiful thing to use, but it would have a tendency to get the dirt into the front-hall and track up the stairs.

--Robert Benchley

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Percentage of U.S. families that own a BBQ grill: 85%

-hpba.org

added on: 10/30/2008

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Overheard - contributed by secretplumber on 09/21/2007

Plumber Voicemails -- 3:30 A.M., Do You Know Where Your Plumber Is?

Woman Voice (3:35 a.m): Hi, sorry to bother you. You’re probably asleep. I’m still not comfortable with the drip.
Background: [Some kind of music, woodwinds, sounds like marching band.]
Woman Voice: I know it’s late. But could you check it again? Not now. You’re probably asleep, I know. I know I’m crazy, right? I don’t care for drips. I hate them for some reason. They keep...you know. Obviously, that’s why they’re drips. [Laughs] Call me, please. Nothing urgent. Can wait until the morning, I guess. [Pause] Later in the morning. [Pause] Maybe I should shut the bathroom door, I don't know. Maybe that would help. If I shut the door. I don't think so, because it'd still be dripping really. ...overhear more

--Overheard in: Plumber Voicemail, North NJ--

• Send Us Stuff You've Overheard

Wow, woman needs long term

- submitted by yrkto on 09/21/2007

Wow, woman needs long term therapy. Funny, but sad alsoo.

Woman needs more than

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/21/2007

Woman needs more than therapy, but I won't go there, LOLL.

I hate drips too, I hate

- submitted by dripper on 09/21/2007

I hate drips too, I hate them even though they're so innocuous. I wouldn't call a plumber at 3a.mm. but I'd want it fixed asap.

Yea, shut the bathroom door

- submitted by getitreal on 09/21/2007

Yea, shut the bathroom door lady and go to sleep. Dream of dripless faucets in every room of your house.

Funny funny. Plumber must be

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/21/2007

Funny funny. Plumber must be thinking thank god for the answering machine. Lots of disturbed people out therr.

Drip drip. Drip drip drip.

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/22/2007

Drip drip. Drip drip drip. ha ha drip.

OMG what a freaky lady

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/23/2007

OMG what a freaky lady

Duct Tape then go to sleep,

- submitted by rakelap on 09/24/2007

Duct Tape then go to sleep, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

love these plumber messages.

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/26/2007

love these plumber messages. ready for another, lol

What kind of plumber betrays

- submitted by huh? on 09/26/2007

What kind of plumber betrays his confidences with clients?

huh!, plumbers don't have

- submitted by straighter on 09/26/2007

huh!, plumbers don't have clients they have customers and customers are pains in asses so they dserve it. Keep the voice mails coming!

Don't plumbers have

- submitted by iheartplumbers on 09/26/2007

Don't plumbers have attorney-client privilege like lawyers and theirs? I've told more to me plumber than any attorney and any husband.

This woman isn't bad. She's

- submitted by Anonymous on 10/27/2007

This woman isn't bad. She's freaky about the drips, but she's well-adjusted and understands that it's 3:30 AM, other people are sleeping, and that her problem isn't urgent. It's not like she's yelling that he need tto get there immediately.