Sounds like a conversation i

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/27/2007

Sounds like a conversation i have with my wiffe every month, what do they want?

What THEY want is to be able

- submitted by wifetobe on 09/27/2007

What THEY want is to be able to communicate with th4eir spouse. Shouldn't be so hard for you guys if you pull your heads out of your tvs.

guys don't get it, they

- submitted by realist on 09/28/2007

guys don't get it, they never will. we're alking about communication, honesty not talking about who's driving the kids to soccer. lower expectations that's only way to tolerate it.

You know what we don't want

- submitted by guy on 09/28/2007

You know what we don't want to do. We don't always want to share our feelings. We don't even always have the kinds of feellings women seem to have and waqnt us to have. We're different, men and women, and mmore women need to accept that.

Well said, guy. You don't

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/28/2007

Well said, guy. You don't want to share your feelings? No prob, I don't want to share other things you seem to want so baddly, LOL.

Title is ggood, talking

- submitted by talker on 09/28/2007

Title is ggood, talking about talking, think it's defined my marriage. Lots of talk and no communication. I consider leaving all the time, then we TALK and I say I'll give it another chance.

it's not really about talking

- submitted by Gordon on 09/29/2007

Most of these responses seem to assume that there is something the man is missing, that it is his fault somehow. I see it as a failing on both sides equally. One thing we have nowadays is an epidemic of selfishness and endless pursuit of 'meeting my needs' above all else. The woman in the piece above obviously feels that she is missing out on something, somehow, but she can't verbalize it. The man gives her his full attention and tries to see if there's something he can fix. He is supportive, but she doesn't see it as support. Let me ask a question. What conversational topic is truly worthy of discussion? Cars? Too frivolous. Sports? Too fanatical. Politics? Too opinionated. Religion? Too dangerous. The kids? That's just chit chat. The weather? An insult. Celebrities/TV shows/vacation plans/relatives/pets...(ad infinitum) it's all just noise. None of it satisfies because the need isn't really about conversation at all.

numbskulls

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/29/2007

Gordon almost has it right. People are selfish and unable to commisurate let alone consider others feelings. Talk about the kids, talk about how to raise them, together as a family with a sense of compassion for others and not as boys or girls with all of the baggage that we are sold and then lets see if the next generation can bridge the communication gap.

Gordon is on the "money" We

- submitted by A woman on 09/29/2007

Gordon is on the "money" We womam sometimes like all human beings just want attention, contact...to feel that our presence is felt by those we care and love.

Women just want complete

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/29/2007

Women just want complete authority and power over men. They want men to act 'like men' as they desire, then they want men to be just like women when they want that. Women can't accept that men are different. They just try to change them and control them. It is really about power, and how women feel superior to men. They want men to woo them, seduce them, provide for them, entertain them, protect them, etc. And most of them won't even cook! In this instance the woman is looking to the man to entertain her.

Talk to me

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/29/2007

This would be LOL funny if I had not had this conversation with my wife numerous times; while being told I was the barrier to communication. The deal is; women want us to somehow intuit, not only their feelings, but their expectations. But if we were able to do that there would be little need to talk. On the other hand, women seem to feel that, "...if I have to tell you then the magic is gone...you don't get me...you are not really my soulmate". In the above scenario, she wants him to not only intuit the correct time and place but also the subject. Ladies, conversation is always about something. We just want to know what that something is. Unfortunately, this conversation, and many more like it, end up with the old punchline, "if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you."

Been There so Many Times

- submitted by Gina on 09/29/2007

This is almost exact with me and my husband. Then when something happens or come up, he will be like well you never mentioned it to me or you never tried to talk to me about it. Men listen but do they hear, and when they hear do they listen.

I am a woman. I've been in

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/29/2007

I am a woman. I've been in relationships with men and relationships with women. Generally speaking - there are exceptions - it is much more satifying emotionally to be with a woman. Most men - again, not all - are emotionally limited. From my point of view, that makes them not interesting.

What!?!?!?

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/29/2007

Some of you are not reading the same conversation I read. The guy seems to want her to tell him what's on her mind. He sensed that something was bothering her but apparently a request for further information is a crime in relationships. OK, he laughed but I would have to if I was having a conversation with someone who went from a desire for "real talking" to having "nothing" to say in seconds. Both men and women who have responded saying this happens to them often, but look at the conversation! She goes from wanting "real talking" to "I don't want to talk" to "I want to talk" but "not right now" in less than a minute.

Remove stereotypes

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/29/2007

I am a guy who thinks TV is, for the most part, a huge waste of time. I sometimes have to compete with the TV for my wife's attention. And, I understand the difference between hearing and listening just as I understand the difference between talking and communicating. When your spouse/partner didn't get the message the way you intended, shutting down the lanes of communicating ("nothing", "I don't want to talk") is counterproductive; you don't get what you want. And, though I've only been in relationships with women, my experience has taught me that one emotional partner is more than enough in a relationship. And we (guys) are more often the ones told to "suck it up" in a relationship, lest our manhood come into question (and I don't mean from the other fellas). Ladies, decide what you really want, commit to it, then come tell us. You may not get it right away but at least we have a firm foundation to proceed from.

Conversation

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/29/2007

My wife and I used to talk. Then she got religion, and now every conversation turns into a debate about/with God. I have had more religious training than she has, but SHE is the expert. No one is following "God's Will" and everyone has to change. She brings up everyone's spiritual failings. So who goes to church every Sunday and who stays in bed??? Yep!!! I drag my sorry ass out of bed every Sunday for Mass and she sleeps. Go figure!!!

emotionally hungry

- submitted by maracasbay on 09/29/2007

The two comments above, "Gordon is on the money..." and "I am a woman...."are being missed by almost all the men commenting. The core of the problem and the solution are seated firmly in both those two comments. I am a man, and most of us do not ever realize that a woman is emotionally hungry almost all the time. I will need to come back here for specific step by step action easy steps for the man to keep uppermost in mind. In the meanwhile, a woman needs that genuine brief kiss ever so often, that sincere caress anywhere on her body even if for just two seconds, a romantic message to her phone, a "naughty" message for her on the fridge, a rose for no occasion with a love note, AND and AND a woman wants YOU to share your feelings with her about anything that is effecting you, whatever that might be. Ask her for input or opinion.

We men tend NOT to do that, like "boys don't cry",the macho-man B.S.

Hold her hand when out to shop or out to dine or when strolling about and once in a while open the car door for her. In the living room, do not sit separately, use the love seat for two. Please men,let us stop being Emotionally COLD to the women in our lives. Did you notice that sex is not a factor here? I shall return. Thank you

It's not that complicated

- submitted by Travis on 10/02/2007

Woman have a drive to relate over an issue, now. Men have a drive to solve it, now. It's really that simple, and that different. The woman in the example didn't want to talk about anything, she just wanted to relate over her feeling that there was a lack of communication. The man wanted to solve the immediate problem by talking. And, neither was communicating what they wanted.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm

- submitted by Anonymous on 10/15/2007

Guys hear ye hear ye !!!! The woman sounded depressed and some what lost, unable to express herself-not good . And the man was receptive but neither solved the issue. Yes, woman are more emotional than men. And we need to state it up front ..... I want sex, attention, affection and praise baby---(and yes I get it if you are very busy,stressed,etc. some days I'll settle for smaller amounts.) In return I'll ALWAYS respect you & do the same for you. FAIR ????

pffft

- submitted by Anonymous on 10/27/2007

That woman needs to get a life of her own. If you have something to say and its actually important, say it. If not keep your mouth shut. No man wants to talk about nothing....thats what your GF's are for.

Passive Aggressive Bullshit

- submitted by Evan on 10/27/2007

I don't buy this men and woman stuff. There are general differences but I think most is a cultural construct.

The women here is being passive aggressive because for some reason she doesn't like what they talk about. However she is unwilling to solve the problem and instead looks to the man to do something. It would be totally different if she wanted to talk about something and the man said no but thats not what happened. She is at fault.

This sound just like us, I

- submitted by Anonymous on 11/01/2007

This sound just like us, I have dated my boyfriend for 8 years now, and we are planning to get engage this Dec. I feel disconnected with him. He is a great guy, willing to talk about anythings. But sometime he missed the point.

...

- submitted by J on 11/05/2007

women aren't more emotional than men. women are socially trained to be more expressive than men are...in fact, men are trained to repress next to every emotion. to not do so is a sign of weakness. in the wild, the weak die.

this woman's problem isn't that they don't talk...it's that she doesn't feel connected to him like she used to. the passion has died down and she wants the flames fanned. my guess is that a big part of the couple's problem is that she doesn't want to do any of the fanning (because if he really cared, he'd do it, right?) and that the man has essentially just accepted that the passionate first year of a relationship is just that - a first year. you spend that time getting to know someone very intimately...and it's exciting! you're thrilled about this person and what potential effect they will have on your life.

it's pretty normal though for that feeling to largely wear off. the media and entertainment industry lead women to believe that the only working relationships are those that are filled with blazing passion from start to death. reality is that that just isn't true but many women don't seem to understand that. due to sets of interests commonly attributed to the sexes, men are exposed to a lot less conditioning of this type and as a result don't have that same expectation of a relationship. it's pretty tragic...nobody's done anything wrong but everyone suffers.

sadly, the more times women break up and start looking for somebody new, clinique, calvin kline, etc all stand to make a good chunk of change off of them, so its doubtful that this will ever end.

the real solution for the couple above is simply coming to a mutual understanding of what each other expects and what they can both offer. so i guess, yeah, they have a lot of talking to do...

Women are indirect, and men

- submitted by Brad on 11/05/2007

Women are indirect, and men are direct, and the two don't mix. I remember as a kid, riding with my parents on a road trip mom mother said as we approached an exit ramp, "Do you think that gas station has a soda machine?" My dad said, "Yes." and we drove right past the exit ramp. mom says "Why didn't you stop?" To which he replies, "Who needed to stop?"

I'm a woman, and I've got to

- submitted by Anonymous on 11/05/2007

I'm a woman, and I've got to say that I agree completely with the comment here that's titled "pffft". I hear things like this all the time and I just don't understand it. In fact, it makes me thoroughly sick. Too many women are complete idiots who talk about nothing because that's just about as much as they know. I like being female and looking feminine, but I am so incredibly glad I don't act or think anything like a stereotypical female. So, SO glad - I cannot stress it enough. I don't think most people are like that naturally, but even if it's a cultural thing you'd still have to mindlessly adhere to that stereotype in the first place. That goes for stereotypical men as well, but my beef is definitely more with women. At least men don't say stupid shit like that all the time.

Am I the only woman who

- submitted by Emileh on 11/25/2007

Am I the only woman who doesn't put so much stock in "talking"? Jesus, women like this are so unbelievably ridiculous. Shut your mouth and enjoy life. Clearly she doesn't have anything to say, and if she does, she can bring it up when she does instead of out of nowhere for no reason at all.

I find this whole topic hilarious

- submitted by Anonymous on 11/07/2008

How sad it must be that you're significant other is so uninteresting, so boring and so incompatible that you cannot ever have a discussion, or further yet, that you have to nag or bully them into it.

This is a symptom of our time, when people "hook up" because they don't want to be lonely instead of getting involved with someone because they truly love them.

People shouldn't have to force communication, that's a base upon which a relationship is built, if you can't communicate how you feel to one another before shacking up, your relationship is going to be shaky at best.

I love talking to my significant other about anything, everything or nothing and when I don't feel like it I just tell her. If people were more honest with each other instead of beating around the bush and being dishonest, they'd have a lot easier time with relationships.

Any generalization that men don't like to talk or aren't emotional is b.s. I talk to my significant other plenty and I'm just as worried and emotional and upset about things as she is at times. That's life, if you didn't learn to communicate as a child it has nothing to do with gender and more to do with your emotional issues with opening up.

This comment is far too long already so i'll just summarize by saying that all the problems people have with relationships is very depressing, because it shouldn't be so damn hard to begin with.