For reasons we're still not clear on -- we're grateful! -- we've managed to convince a plumber we know to let us listen to his customer voicemails. He won't let us publish the audio but he's OK with our transcribing the better ones and presenting them for their 'educational' (i.e., purely entertainment) value. Only caveat -- we can't ID him or his customers.

Here's another in the ongoing line of 'educational' Burbia Plumber Voicemails....

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Guy Voice: (1:15 A.M): Hey. You were right, she’s a whore, she’s not home. I’m losing... (Phone drops, disconnects.)

Guy Voice (1:18 A.M.): Wait. (Apparently hearing-registering plumber's recorded voicemail message.) That’s not…Who is this? Dan? Hold on. (Phone disconnects.)

Guy Voice (1:19 AM): (Pauses, after recording ends.) Sh*t. Jerry? This is Jerry? The f***ing plumber? F**k. What … (Pause, sounds like he's drinking) You know her too, don’t you. Are you f***ing her too? Sorry. Wish I had some plumbing jobs for you. (Pause, phone drops.) Sh*t. I do. You did the water heater, didn't you. It’s sh*t. S*it. You’re a rip-off artist. Get your ass over here now and fix it or I’m gonna kick.... Sh*t. (Banging noise in background.) She's here, I think she’s home. (Phone disconnects.)

Guy Voice (1:22 A.M.): It wasn’t her. Sorry. Sorry. What am I doing, talking to you. (Sounds like drinking from bottle/glass.) You like working with other peoples’ toilets, don’t you? Plumbing, Christ, what a crappy job. “Crappy” get it. Ha, I’m so funny. (Laughs) We should go out get some beers sometime. You’re alright. My boss, you don’t know’m, he’s a prick. I do the work, he takes the credit and Dana she’s f***ing him. I never thought about plumbing, ya know? I did roofing once. Over the summer, I was in college, maybe it was before college. Harvard, you believe that? (Laughs, more drinking). Now look at... (Phone drops.)

Guy Voice (con't, after picking up phone): ...Christ. I’m talking to a f***ing plumber, a guy who sticks his head in toilets for a living, no, I'm talking to his answering machine. (Pauses, drinks) Wait, hold it. That’s definitely her. Good talking to... F***, it’s not, it’s the f***ng dog, her dog, I hate that stupid miniature f***ing dog. I’ve seen rats bigger than that prissy piece of.... (To dog, it seems.) Heidi, come here Heidi….Come on girl, come on…. I’m going to kill that dog. Yes, darling come here, come to daddy… (Phone falls, disconnects.) ...overhear more