Dear Investor:

Stephen Kling is a grizzled veteran of the advertising wars...read more

There's a unique real estate opportunty right under your nose. I'm talking, of course, about 56 Elm Place, Chadwick, New York.

At first glance, it's just a neatly kept faux Colonial, 4 bedrooms, 2 ½ baths. But there's more: 56 Elm's generous lot -150 x 200- is also 3,963 miles deep. That's over 593 billion cubic feet of planet Earth...a planet well known for its unique and enjoyable amenities.

Imagine...more than 593 billion cubic feet of sun and fun, warm summer breezes and bracing snow-filled wonder. 593 billion cubic feet of barbecueing on the deck, fishing with the grandkids or just kicking back with a frozen Daquiri on a warm, sun-drenched day. Enough Earth that, if flattened out and laid cubic foot-to-cubic foot, would reach to the Moon and back, and have enough left over to pave Oklahoma. Too bad it can't.

But that's not all. You've heard of the untold wealth of the DeBeers and Rockefellers, almost totally derived from plundering the depths of the Earth for valuable minerals and resources. Now consider how your own wealth can grow when you exploit a column of bedrock, mantle, and molten core that's longer than the distance from Hawaii to Omaha! Imagine if that magma contains vast quantities of heavy metals, some of which may even be authentic.

Gold, platinum, diamonds and silver-all lying, maybe, under your feet. And all yours, if there is any, for all eternity. Present geologic science does not allow me to state for certain the existence of these unbelievably valuable minerals, but I feel confident some may indeed exist.

And while it may also be true that extracting these deposits for the enrichment of your descendants for generations may be, at present, not entirely practical, don't you think that someday superior American technology will come up with a simple and easy solution to efficient deep-earth mining? I do. Any patriot would feel the same way, I'm sure.

There's more. Above 56 Elm lies the whole universe...starting with our own stratosphere, exosphere, moon and solar system. And even though interstellar law is only in its infancy, allow me to make the case that you could own a significant part of all of creation for all time and forever, whichever comes first.

Imagine: a column 150 x 200 feet x infinity, extending upward through the sky and the planets, all the way through to Andromeda and the Pleiades and beyond. What would YOU do with a slice of Jupiter? Wouldn't your friends just die? While it's unclear exactly how your interstellar holdings could actually be mapped (after all, heavenly bodies are in constant motion and might not sit still long enough to be surveyed, let alone fenced in and planted with perennials) the upside is limitless...literally.

Let me be frank. An opportunity like this comes along only rarely. This pristine slice of Earth and the surrounding heavens is unequalled in beauty and development potential. No one else can match this offer. Not even Feldstein across the street, who, in an act of avarice and spite, has put his property on the market too, even though Feldstein's property is, by comparison, filthy and stained.

But you have to act quickly. Certain restrictions do apply. Seller is not responsible for avalanches of precious metals that may injure or inconvienience the buyer. Seller not responsible for cuts and bruises caused by handling diamonds and other precious gems. Seller is not responsible for hernias or sprains associated with carrying gold bars or platimum-bearing ore. Nor is seller responsible for expenses associated with colonizing distant star systems.

Offering by prospectus only. An equal opportunity seller. These claims not evaluated by the FDA.

And lastly, one small detail: dwelling and top 24 inches of 56 Elm are not included....read more blogs