The first time I heard Robert Frost's poem Mending Wall, I was sitting in my tenth grade English class. The fences that Frost wrote about were basically built of stacked rocks. They were not very high, but were quite wide and ran the length of the two properties they divided. The harsh New England winters would take its toll on the fences, sending rocks tumbling down both sides. Each spring, my teacher explained, the neighbors would walk the fence together -- each on his own side -- and return the fallen pieces to where they belonged.

The line, "Good fences make good neighbors," as interpreted by my teacher, came from the two neighbors working together to fix the fence, sharing thoughts and conversation as they did so.

If you take John Mellencamp's (or whatever he was called back then) song...read more

A few months back, a friend of mine offered the quote to explain why he was placing a new 6-foot stockade fence between his house and the one next door. The better separated they are, he said, the better neighbors they will be - good fences make good neighbors.

The quote came to mind again as it's time for me to replace the fencing around my own yard. Taking the quote literally and looking at the current state of my fences, I am most definitely not a good neighbor.

There really is nothing sadder than an old, beat-up fence. My 13-year-old grayed cedar stockade is now looking like the smile of a third-grader. The lock has rotted off, which is okay because the slats have swollen to the point where the gate just scrapes along the walkway; once it's closed, it won't be opening again. A bunch of the points have broken off due to fallen branches and chunky squirrels. Less ambitious creatures have burrowed underneath, breaking off a few pieces from down low.

Of course, nature can't take all the blame. There was also homeowner mistake #1,242:

Son: "Can I play handball against the fence, dad?"
Dad: "Sure. What harm can a little rubber ball do?"

Well, when half of your nails are clinging to rotted wood, a heck of a lot.

So it's time to do some fence shopping, and for me to think about how much I want to close myself off from the neighbors.

When I first moved in my house, there were already two fences on either side of my property, courtesy of my neighbors. On one side, there was a 6-foot high chain-link fence with fairly ineffective privacy panels woven through the links. On the other side was a mere 5-foot high wooden stockade.

One of my first priorities was to complete my yard by putting a fence along the back and on either side of the front of my house. The reason wasn't so much to block out my neighbors -- the main reason was that I had been living in an apartment for two years with my dog, and I had had just about enough of standing in the rain shouting, "Will you just poop already?" along with threats to squeeze his sides. The second reason was to block the steady flow of teenagers who for years had used the property as a shortcut between the street I lived on and the road behind it.

I added a 5-foot stockade in the front and a 6-foot stockade in the back, creating the perfect spot for wiffle ball games, barbecues, freeze tag, and, apparently, raccoons to dine on my garbage. Sure, the neighbors could spot us, and a little interaction did occur, but mostly we were left to our own little world.

As I go to replace the fences, I was thinking of going with 6-foot stockade all around for a nice consistent look instead of the hodge-podge I have now. The look would be better I suppose, but I'd be cutting off even the small interactions I have with my neighbors. According to my buddy, that would make us better neighbors, but I'm not feeling right about it.

Sure, I don't have that Flintstones-Rubble relationship with any of my neighbors, but by walling myself off, I take myself -- and my family -- further out of the neighborhood, seeing them only as we get into and out of our car.

Now none of this is really the fence's fault -- it does its job just fine and as intended. After all, didn't most of us come to the suburbs for a little place to call our own? But replacing the fence reminds me that I don't know my neighbors as well as I could.

So maybe I'll go with a 5-foot fence along the one side, so we can still trade hellos over the points. And maybe I'll stay with the hodge-podge so my daughter and the granddaughter of the women next door can pass dandelions to each other through the chain-link fence.

And maybe I'll try coming out from behind both fences more often and be a better neighbor....read more blogs