Burbia Blogs

- added on 05/29/2008

  

You're Cordially Invited to Recycle -- Or Else!

Nothing is more important to our collective sense of wellbeing than the prompt and efficient removal of waste from our environment. Therefore, the Township Department of Community Services has released new guidelines concerning recycling and solid waste, effective immediately. Recycling saves tax dollars, reduces waste and conserves energy by giving previously used materials a new life. Your cooperation is appreciated, and mandatory.

MIXED PAPER: All newspapers, magazines, catalogues and loose paper must be sorted by color and size. No envelopes with windows, please. Cardboard boxes must be broken down into squares no greater than 8 inches square, and one foot high, and tied with biodegradable, unscented twine. These bales must be placed in rigid containers, weighing no more than 5 pounds each. Bales greater than 8 inches x one foot high, and containers weighing more than five pounds each will not be removed. No other method is acceptable! Residents who wish to exceed their allotted paper quota may purchase a paper credit from the Township, for $300 per extra pound per month.


Valerie Block is the author of the novels Don't Make A Scene (Ballantine, 2007),...read more

COMMINGLED: Thoughtful separation of various waste products will aid greatly in the proper disposal of mixed recycling. Glass containers must be rinsed and separated by color, size and brand of liquor. No other method is acceptable!

Plastic containers must be rinsed and flattened. Unflattened plastic bottles will not be collected; the continued presence of containers at the curb will not result in the collection of prohibited materials. Containers that stay at the curb for more than 12 hours after regular collection time will receive a fine, of up to $150 per container per day.

No metal containers of any kind will be accepted in commingled trucks. No exceptions! Residents who wish to discard metal containers must make an appointment with the Chief Executive Officer of the Township, to be held at the Public Safety Building, prior to the Town Council Meeting, during which time the resident's request will be voted upon, should the Township Manager deem the application acceptable.

Due to rising labor costs, there will only be one waste management specialist per transport vehicle; therefore, residents will need to be on hand to toss their recycled items into the back of the truck. Commingled recyclables will be picked up at curbside on the designated weekly collection day for your area. Consult your Community Calendar for additional information. This new program has been tested in several neighboring towns in our county, to great public acclaim.

GARBAGE COLLECTION: Due to rising fuel costs, household refuse will no longer be collected by the Department of Community Services. The Township Manager is looking into a variety of options; until such time as he has contracted with a new service provider, residents are instructed not to leave cans at the curb. Any cans left at the curb will result in a fine of up to $150 per can per day. There will be no exceptions.

Residents are encouraged to make use of their garbage disposals and compost piles. Coffee grounds and eggshells are welcome amendments to the soil. Chicken carcasses can be ground up with carpet sweepings using a blender to make an excellent mulch. These and other waste items will be beneficial to area wildlife.

BULKY WASTE: At this time, the Township Department of Community Services will not collect un-partitioned Bulk Waste. Residents must cut large household items, such as mattresses, box springs, bathtubs, porcelain sinks, commodes, bureaus, tables, and machines into smaller units that can fit in a rigid container, weighing no more than 10 lbs., which may be left at the curb by residents no earlier than 7 p.m. the night prior to collection, and then thrown in the back of the passing vehicle when it drives by. Please see Community Calendar for schedule of Bulk Waste vehicle.

YARD WASTE: Leaves will no longer be collected by the Department. Each household must make its own arrangement for disposal of leaves, branches, wood chips, tree bark, stumps, shrubs, acorns and miscellaneous nuts. Households that rake leaves into mounds at the curb will be fined $.50 per leaf per day.

Questions? Comments? Please call the Department of Community Services, Monday-Tuesday, 2-3 pm. ...read more blogs

 
markbecker ??Thu, 05/29/2008 ?? 13:59
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Waste Not

- submitted by Power monger on 05/29/2008

This column should be recycled into The New Yorker!


Love this, makes me want to

- submitted by Anonymous on 05/29/2008

Love this, makes me want to stop recycling, my town is nuts too! LOL


what's so hard about cutting

- submitted by Realist on 05/29/2008

what's so hard about cutting bathtubs and sinks into small "units"? the least we all can do, assuming we could do it, physically, i mean, i don't know. let's start with mattresses, those have to be easier, right?


funny, thanks for the treat!

- submitted by Anonymous on 05/30/2008

funny, thanks for the treat!


I'm a recycling specialist

- submitted by Anonymous on 05/30/2008

I'm a recycling specialist in my town in upstate New York and i want to say unequivocally that we never require residents to chop up bathtubs. That could cause dust toxins to be released in the air. I have never heard of requiring residents to cut up things like tubs or boilers or such. For non toxin releasing items it is an interesting idea, though, and I'm contemplating recommending it at our next Enviro-REcycling Task Force meeting. Home items like furnaces and stairwells should be chopped up, I believe, same with post-1981 freezers and dishwahsers.


I invented the bathtub and

- submitted by TubMaker on 05/30/2008

I invented the bathtub and it does not release toxins unless you chop them at temperatures exceeding 200 degrees F. FYI.


Too funny!

- submitted by Person of Opinion on 06/02/2008

This is hilarious! I'm worried though. If my town's recycling committee reads this, I fear they will immediately begin a residents self-toss recycling program of their own. It's just too good an idea not to steal. As for your blender concoction of chicken leavings and carpet sweepings, it needs a little tinkering but I think you're really on to something. Tall Skim Recyclappucino, anyone?


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