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B-Rant- submitted by L. Keenan on 08/07/2008 I Brake for Lemonade Stands and You Should, Too!By Linda Keenan I have a simple goal here. I endeavor to make any parent who has blithely driven by a lemonade stand without even thinking of stopping feel like a massive turd. To quote the band Wilco, I am trying to break your heart. It is now family policy that we brake for all lemonade stands, as long as we don't cause a deathly car pile-up, and if I find out my husband flew past one without a second thought, I give him a talking-to. This policy was enacted because of one stand that has popped up several times near my house during the spring and summer. It's manned by roughly four kids, who jump and down desperately when you drive by, like tragic, pint-sized Willie Lomans. They're out there baking in the sun, with dreams of closing a few measly sales, and what do they get? Mostly dust in their face from speeding cars. The first time I stopped, I could see how little they make during their sweltering hours of entrepreneurial yearning, and I gave them two dollar bills and said keep the change. They started jumping up and down again, but this time it was ecstatic, not desperate. Cost of terrible corporate lemonade and fly-bitten Nilla wafers? Two bucks. Restoring a child's faith in humanity? Priceless. Parents might want to think twice before encouraging their kids to set up shop, because the thriving lemonade stand seems to me at least a relic of a suburb and lifestyle that once was and is no longer. I live in what's supposedly one of the most walkable suburbs in America and almost no one is walking around, or biking either. The only groups I see hoofing it are hair-twirling tweens and compulsive joggers, and neither population is likely to stop for lemonade. The tweens just roll their eyes and keep yip-yapping about, I imagine, Gossip Girl, and the joggers crank up their iPods and fly past the stands like they're selling typhus. Stop my run for your carb-laden liqui-poison? Are you mad, child? Sometimes I think that if it was Lucy from Peanuts out there, selling psychiatric advice at her stand for five cents a pop, she'd make a killing. (And just think if Lucy could prescribe?? You have a line of Moms out there two football fields long.) This all means it's up to you, driver-parent. The next time you see that lemonade stand, maybe those kids will be jumping up and down like they do on my street. Put them in slo-mo in your mind, those tiny cherub faces contorted with longing, their little limbs flailing around, begging for little more than a quarter and a kind word. Then imagine that it's your kid out there. Is your crazy-uptight yoga teacher really going to flip if you're a minute late? Maybe. Yes, that mustache of yours is getting bushy, but can't the wax lady wait? Those kids are human beings, as Linda Loman said about her sad-sack husband Willie: attention must be paid. Linda Keenan is a contributing writer at Burbia. Linda worked 7 years as a head writer/senior producer for various programs on CNN. Before that she worked as a writer/producer for Bloomberg TV. She now writes satire, primarily about parenting culture, at Thoroughly Modern Mommy ...read more rants   what a great manifesto. i - submitted by Anonymous on 08/07/2008
what a great manifesto. i will never pass by again and i vow to always overpay... Lemonade Stands - submitted by Kristen on 08/07/2008
I think this should be a national law :) I love it. Great post! I often stop, but just as often, I pass by. From now on, stopping it is... at every single one. Kristen www.dineanddish.net Good for you. I stop at - submitted by Anonymous on 08/07/2008
Good for you. I stop at lemonade stands and overpay too. A little generosity goes a long way : ) Me too, me too - submitted by Jeanne Sager on 08/07/2008
I wrote a column about this a few weeks ago - I totally agree, it should be a law!! http://jeannesager.blogspot.com Great! - submitted by deesha on 08/07/2008
We live at a corner house at a busy intersection (location, location, location), so my kids are regular lemonade stand entrepreneurs (and they always give a big portion of their proceeds to the local children's hospital!). Most people stop, buy, and tip very well. Those who don't nearly crash into parked cars smiling with apparent nostalgia at the sight of kids with lemonade stand. I was amazed the first time - submitted by Anonymous on 08/07/2008
I was amazed the first time my kids had a lemonade stand by how nearly everyone overpaid -- giving a dollar or more and saying "keep the change." my kids were thrilled but i wasn't sure this was the best lesson for them. Mom supplies lemonade, ice, cups and helps them write signs. Customers think they're cute and overpay. Make me wonder.... Really?? - submitted by J.T. Wilson on 08/08/2008
A senior writer/producer for CNN? And you still manage to make errors like "and if I find out my husband flew PASSED one"? This is MY policy: when I see kids selling cookies at yard sales or something, I will gladly overpay for their efforts if they made their OWN cookies. Or some drawings. Or maybe they made an ash tray at school. ANything else is coddling them and giving them false expectations. Such as: the law is fair, life is fair and is nice to people. How about instead of crappy lemonade and stale cookies you bake some cookies with them! A learning experience, bonding time. Sending them out into the street (what is this about being near speeding cars???), seems almost cold and more focused on "get them out of the house" time than "have fun, kids" time. I call your insistence, nay, your implicit necessity to stop and pay attention to these kids misplaced nostalgia and projection on your part. In my humble opinion, the only reason those kids are out there selling crappy lemonade and stale cookies is because their parents told them it was a good idea, since it not something kids themselves would come up with, an antiquated idea that this is. You refer to it as "a relic of a suburb and lifestyle that once was and is no longer". If you're going to teach your children a capitalist lifestyle (nothing wrong with that, this is a capitalist country), selling goods and services for profit, (regardless of their intrinsic value), then they should also be aware of the fact that in a business, you suffer loss and rejection as well as profit and success. I run a business and deal with good and bad every day. It's good for them to learn early, within certain boundaries and contexts, obviously. I have to say, as much as I love living here, the US is the hardest Western country I've ever lived in, my eyes are not closed to the harshness and the unfairness of this society. I see many Americans growing up, believing in this pipe dream of fairness and equality and it's a slap in the face for all of them. Thank you. thanks j.t. - submitted by Anonymous on 08/08/2008
Dear JT Thanks for pointing out our writing/editing mistake. Hope you were not too disappointed to discover that, well, we're HUMAN. sometimes things slip. yours, the editors I think it's kind but... - submitted by Anonymous on 08/24/2008
I think it would be nice to have people stop by but I do not think it should be a law. Is there any law against getting too much of a profit? Nice writing! Very presuasive too! (Sorry if I spelled persuasive wrong.)  |
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