B-Rant

- submitted by K. Fisher on 08/13/2008

  

Is Daycare a Dirty Word?

By Keri Fisher

What's the difference between daycare and preschool?

At one, kids learn manners and how to respect their elders. They learn basic academics like letters and colors, and become socialized with other kids their age. At the other, they do the same but it costs twice as much.

If you're a daycare parent, you've probably gotten disapproving looks from other moms who would never dream of sending their kids to what amounts to, in their minds, a mosh pit of germs, soiled children, and undereducated "teachers" who are simply glorified babysitters.

Much better to have your precious ones doted on by a loving and attentive nanny who will see to each and every one of Junior's constant needs.

I am in the very enviable position of sharing a home and nanny with my sister and her children. Our combined eight kids almost form their own daycare, but all the same, when I took a temporary full time job last summer, I sent my youngest son to daycare.

During the short few months he was there, he learned to cover his mouth when he sneezed, to say "please" and "thank you" (though he was a few months shy of two, so it sounded more like "peeze" and "gank-oo"), most of his colors, and the letter O. All for about a third of the cost of a nanny.

Sure, he got sick, but with eight kids in the house, we've always got new germs taking up residence.

Just before my son turned two, he joined his older brother and cousins at preschool. He was by far both the youngest kid in his class and the only one who didn't cry when I dropped him off. I was the only parent in the class using carline, that miraculous invention whereby kids are unexpectedly plucked from their carseats while Mom idles at the curb, and before they have a chance to object, they're already playing happily in the classroom (where, by the way, the moms who don't use carline are desperately trying to break free of Junior's tenacious grasp). My son was comforting kids six months older as they wailed for Mommy or Daddy to return.

I don't know anyone who sends their kids to preschool full time, but if you were so inclined, it would cost 1 1/2 times as much as full time care at daycare. That's not even including extra costs for when preschool is closed for holidays and several weeks between school and camp. My former daycare closed just one week per year.

So why on earth did I switch? Well, because I'm a snob, just like everyone else, and I desperately care what other people think of me. That, and I'm lazy, and wanted both my sons to go to the same place every day, which makes the mornings chaos that much easier.

I'm kidding, but only a little bit. The fact is, I didn't need the full time daycare that was such a bargain -- at my former daycare, full time is 50 hours per week, and the hourly cost is significantly less than going part time. My sons now go to a synagogue preschool, which offers not just the ABCs but the aleph-bet-gimmels as well, which was a big factor in choosing to send them there.

And at their preschool, they're forging friendships with the kids they'll go to public school with for the next 13 years; none of the kids in my son's daycare class lived in our school district.

And to be honest, preschool is school, or at least what comes before it. In our culture of overachievers, how can we not send our kids to school as soon as they're ready and old enough? How can we not give them every advantage? How can we send them to kindergarten to compete against kids who've been "-schooled" since they were two, rather than just "-cared" for?

Don't get me wrong; I'm obviously a big fan of daycare. I think it prepared both my sons for preschool far better than staying home with me or a nanny could have. My daughter was born less than two months ago, but I'm already looking forward to the day when I can send her to daycare. And when she turns two, I'll send her to preschool with her brother. I'm lazy, remember?

Keri Fisher is a food and parenting writer whose work has appeared in Fine Cooking, The Philadelphia Inquirer, and Babble. She and her sister blog about their communal household at www.whoelsewantstoliveinmyhouse.com...read more rants