B-Rant

- submitted by L.Keenan on 09/03/2008

A Liberal Feminist's Apology to Sarah 'How Does She Do It' Palin

By Linda Keenan

I called my husband hours before the Vice Presidential Nominee Sarah Palin was to speak before the Republican convention. I asked him how many kids she had. Five, he said without missing a beat. How many does McCain have? No clue, he said. Romney? He caught on quick (he's used to these pop-quiz phone calls).

He said, well, wait, Palin's been in the news, blah blah, and I said, save your breath. I had no clue either just how many kids John McCain had, and I had absolutely no excuse: I had written TV news for a decade when four of his kids were still quite young.

I probably wrote about the candidate, oh, a hundred times, ranging from tiny mentions to longer stories. And why didn't I know how many kids he has? Because, of course, he is a man. And no one asks those questions of a man.

If you are wondering, he has a total of seven kids, and the four youngest were born during his early days in the Senate. How did he ever manage to "do it all"?

Consider this my open apology to the Alaska Governor for reacting like a Victorian prig on word of her selection as McCain's running mate. Truly, my first thought was "doesn't she have a baby? And one with Down's Syndrome?" Then I thought, "wait, she has four other kids TOO?"

After that came the next wave of pernicious speculating, after it was revealed that her teenaged daughter is pregnant. "Isn't she going to have to clean up that mess too?"

Now, granted, I do have one mitigating factor for this incredibly sexist line of interrogation for the VP nominee. Palin has aggressively billed herself as a mom, and so thinking of her in that role is inevitable.

But that is no excuse. Questions about who's doing drop-off and pick-up, who is changing the diapers, who is in charge of the kids are ones that never enter my mind with a male politician. I call myself a feminist or something like it, but who am I kidding?

I think I would have been less inclined to internally grill Palin before I had kids. Now that I'm a parent, my sexist attitudes spring not just from preconceived notions, but from the reality that I see day in, day out.

It's not just some ill-founded impression we all have about women and their double burden of home-life responsibility. It is the reality. The women on average are quite literally cleaning up the messes, even if they are working just as much as the man.

And I am complicit in this inequity all the time, because I enable the fathers. As a room parent at my son's school last year, did I demand the fathers' email addresses along with the mothers'? Nope. When I recently wanted to set up a play-date with my son's friend, did I get in touch with Dad, even though Mom works just as hard, if not harder? Nope. If some child has his shirt on inside out, or has grimy fingernails, do I ever secretly tsk tsk Dad? Nope.

And who do I blame in my own home if clothes remain unwashed, or toddler teeth unbrushed? I blame myself, of course, even when my highly-evolved husband insists that he dropped the ball too.

So I congratulate Governor Palin, and the fact that as a working mom she didn't tsk tsk herself out of her own ambitions. She doesn't need another finger wagging in her face. And from now on, this finger-wagger will be sitting on her hands.

Linda Keenan is a contributing writer at Burbia. Linda worked 7 years as a head writer/senior producer for various programs on CNN. Before that she worked as a writer/producer for Bloomberg TV. She now writes satire, primarily about parenting culture, at Thoroughly Modern Mommy ......read more rants

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well done. nice to see a

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/04/2008

well done. nice to see a feminist admit palin isn't the devil incarnate.

She's not saying she's devil

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/04/2008

She's not saying she's devil incarnatee, she's saying questioning her ability to cope with the VP position because she has kids is unfair if men with kids aren't questioed same way, at least if your going to call yourself a feminist. I agree, it is nice to hear it expressed honestly like this.

It's true. If you don't like

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/04/2008

It's true. If you don't like her because she's pro-life/anti-choice, just say so and spare her and everyone a discussion of her parenting, which we really know NOTHING about.

You know what? I don't like

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/04/2008

You know what? I don't like that she isn't home with her kids. But you know what? I don't like that Obama and McCain aren't either. And why doesn't anyone bring up the fact that Cindy McCain and Michelle Obama are out there running just as hard as their husbands are? It's not like *their* kids are home with a parent.

For me, this all speaks to personal ambition -- ANYONE'S, man or woman -- resulting in the kids getting the shaft.

All About the Election

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/04/2008

It boils down to the left wing believing that any means justifies the end of getting the "chosen one" into office.

Sarah Palin is way too dangerous a candidate for them. So she must be stopped (or at least knocked down a few pegs) at all costs -- including the blatant hypocrisy of attacking her using anti-feminist themes.

Linda Keenan deserves major kudos for acknowledging the hypocrisy. Too bad she's ex-CNN!

Although, to be fair, CNN's talking heads were pretty impressed after Pailin's convention speech (you couldn't deny its brilliance). Of course, that is what I mean about her being a "dangerous" candidate for the left.

And that yard sign....

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/04/2008

Several weeks ago you were lamenting about race and yard signs. Now sexism and parenting. Here is a link to a great Forum for you Linda, and the other "anonymous" posters above. http://www.hillaryclintonforum.net/discussion/

Women and men who feel as you do, wrestling with the ironic turn of events in this political season; are having intelligent an open discussions without personal attacks and vulgarity. Many faithful Democrats are questioning the good and bad of the more "progressive and liberal" Party were sexism and misogyny is forbidden in theory only.

the SIGN

- submitted by linda keenan on 09/04/2008

no more wrestling over anything involved with that sign on my lawn - someone stole it yesterday!

If this country had decent

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/04/2008

If this country had decent health care, child care and family support systems I don't think this would be as big an issue. But everyone knows that raising children in America is extremely difficult because families don't matter. If I had a clear picture of how to be successful at work and be a good mom at the same time I'm be cheering her on.

If this country had decent

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/04/2008

bad mother, bad woman, bad politician.

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/04/2008

but she isn't a good mother, she has a pregnant teenage daughter and opposes sex education, choice and help for pregnant teenagers!! what kind of mother is that? that sends her 19 year old to a stupid war instead of school? that parades her down syndrome baby to get sympathy votes? she is a shame of a mother, a woman and a politician. By the way read up on the AP report on all the "inaccuracies" of her speech, I am appalled by someone who doesn't even mind lying from day one!!

The new feminist are coming! And they look like Archie Bunker!

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/05/2008

Gov. Palin's daughter attends a Public School, complete with sex education. So if your point is, it doesn't always work you succeeded.

If absolute truth is what you require in a politician, good luck finding one. Just ask Barry-Barack Dunham-Soetoro-Obama, honesty is hard to come by in that occupation.

So what is it you're saying? Is it that you support Obama, and that produces a need to bash this successful woman using any all means, including questioning her ability and desire to mother? Mission accomplished. But at what price?

Ask yourself these questions: How many kids does Sen. Biden have? Did one have a law suit case settle recently? Did any of them get arrested 2 years ago? Now is Sen. Biden is a BAD father? Has he used his wife and child's tragic death nearly 30 years ago, for sympathy and votes? And what of lying. Isn't plagiarizing speeches the same as lying? Does Sen. Biden ever make inaccurate statements in his speeches? Would you call him a liar from day one?

So well done, you got out the message for your candidate. But again, at what price? What part of the Democratic Party did you represent? Maybe the hypocrites and feminist sellouts with the new progressive liberal Democratic Party. They're the ones who choose to use Gov. Palins "female bits" as a tool to discredit her, while at the same time setting back all mothers in the work force today.

Sexism and Racism are cousins. We don't have to condone one, to eradicate the other.

response to a comment

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/05/2008

The new feminist are coming! And they look like Archie Bunker! is in response to this comment

bad mother, bad woman, bad politician. - submitted by Anonymous on 09/04/2008

nobody's saying palin is a

- submitted by lauraZ on 09/05/2008

nobody's saying palin is a bad mother but if she works 24/7, is never home, travels all the time, her kids are barely educated with no apparent premium placed on it in the household, she's not the model "just like you" mom she and her handlers present her as. biden lied? bfd. it's not news. he admitted it. he's an idiot, a given. is palin "the model mother" as bad as it gets? of course not. should she be disqualified because she's got 5 kids, plus 1 kid with a new kid on the way, of course not also. but biden got railed against when he was first running for all his lies. what's wrong with palin being asked who she really is and what her priorities really are?

In response to: nobody's

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/05/2008

In response to: nobody's saying palin is a - submitted by lauraZ on 09/05/2008

Clearly you and the other comments here are questioning Palin's ability to mother and govern. To claim otherwise is dishonest. If bashing a working woman because they don't live up to your standard of parenting is acceptable, does that same standard apply to the man in this race? If so, than maybe this article might be of interest. ------------------------------------------------ (2/11/2008)Michelle Obama Solidifies Her Role in the Election (The Wall Street Journal)

http://online.wsj.com/public/article_print/SB120269904120358135.html

"Mrs. Obama..... She says when her husband makes it home -- for only 10 days in the last year -- he assumes his usual household tasks. "When Barack's home he's going to be part of this life," Mrs. Obama says. "He doesn't come home as the grand poobah." ----------------------------------------------- Seems like Jr. Sen. Barack Obama, couldn't manage to fit in, the taxpayer paid for shuttle ride, between DC and Chicago very often in his first year. Think about it, only home for 10 days, take away Christmas, Thanksgiving, and other holidays the Senate was CLOSED, when did Obama CHOOSE to be with his kids? That would make his priorities himself and his career, does that make him a BAD parent worthy of a public thrashing? So when is Obama's going to start?

A Double Standard applied to working woman/mothers is sexism. If it wasn't sexism you would have cried out long ago about the BAD fathers running for the White House. Women in this Country need to WAKE UP, self proclaimed "feminist" are the ones attacking Gov. Palin the most. Why and who is this really helping?

quick to judge, slow to apologize.

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/05/2008

If anything, the "roasting" of Sarah Palin has proved that in this divided country, those of limited intelligence and mean of spirit, will always shout over the crowd. Self proclaimed "experts" sling the mud, then sit back to watch the show. The MSM reminded me of the guys in the old west who were quick to hang the first man they saw for horse stealing, facts be damned. In the end, Sarah showed character, and a whole lot of "Democrats" showed a lack of decency. But, hey, the Party of Ted Kennedy, Pelosi, Reid, Biden, Spitzer, Kwame Kilpatrick, Barney Frank, Mario Coumo, Jimmy Carter, don`t indulge in such character flaws like honesty and respect.

Thank you for your honest apology

- submitted by Heather on 09/05/2008

I am glad to see you apologize. I await the apology of the other journalists but I'm not holding my breath (especially for the men).

If we had more of these

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/06/2008

If we had more of these drops of honesty, American politics wouldn't be so schoolyard. There's not one ounce of integrity or outcry from "feminists" or minority groups if the person attacked is a repub or con.

Debate the issues, there's room for disagreement, but Jes.H.Chr. show some integrity and acknowledge what's patently obvious to most Americans with a beating pulse - the bias is repulsive. Thank you for taking a stand against the MSM, NOW, and other partisan ignoramouses.

Good on ya, Linda

- submitted by peter jackson on 09/07/2008

You've just demonstrated your susceptibility to reason and good faith. I'm impressed.

Isn't this good?

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/09/2008

I'm just curious... As VP wouldn't she get all sorts of help for her kids? Tutors, great education, secret service protection and therefore constant supervision (of a sort)? Would this be what people want? Gvt child-care, health-care, education, et al?

By the way, nice note Linda. I always appreciate an honest self-examination (not that I'd want to do one ;-) ).

Palin's needs v. her family

- submitted by Anonymous on 09/09/2008

The best interests of a special needs baby and a pregnant teen daughter would indicate that a parent recuse him or herself from the presidential race. Would a male candidate do this? Probably not, but that does not mean that it is not the right thing to do.

"If anything, the "roasting"

- submitted by Jodi on 09/09/2008

"If anything, the "roasting" of Sarah Palin has proved that in this divided country, those of limited intelligence and mean of spirit, will always shout over the crowd."

Huh. I thought the whole RNC proved that. Esp. Giuliani and Palin.

thanks

- submitted by Lbfoody on 09/18/2008

Thank you for the fresh perspective.