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B-Rant

- submitted by L. Keenan on 10/21/2008

Autistic or "Fat, Lazy and Stupid?"

By Linda Keenan

As I read and re-read in disbelief the latest outrageous quote from actor and, um, "humorist" Denis Leary, I recalled a father on a talk show a few years back trying to hold back his uncontrollable sobs when talking about his autistic son. The man wanted only one thing from his 10-year-old son: for him to simply say "Dad." And I think there should be a special place in hell where Leary lives in eternity waiting for his own kids to be able to say Dad, but they never can.

Here is the quote from Leary's new book, Why We Suck: A Feel-Good Guide to Staying Fat, Lazy, and Stupid: "There is a huge boom in autism right now because inattentive mothers and competitive dads want an explanation for why their dumb-ass kids can't compete academically, so they throw money into the happy laps of shrinks...to get back diagnoses that help explain away the deficiencies of their junior morons. I don't give a s--- what these crackerjack whack jobs tell you-yer kid is not autistic. He's just stupid. Or lazy. Or both."

Lazy, stupid, wait, is the child fat too? What a cut-up. By the way, I first came across the quote on a website for parents with kids who have behavioral issues, you know, that's where we inattentive mothers while away the day talking about our fat, lazy, stupid kids.

Now Leary has tried to defend himself from the well-deserved fusillade of criticism, by saying the quote was taken out of context, that of course he believes "real autism" exists (note that he uses the word "real").

The chapter the quote is found in is called "Autism Schmautism," and Leary says this:"The bulk of the chapter deals with grown men who are either self-diagnosing themselves with low-level offshoots of the disease or wishing they could as a way to explain their failed careers and troublesome progeny."

I actually hope Leary believes his argument, which is apparently that autism and its "low level offshoots" are being vastly overdiagnosed. Because if he doesn't, and this was a naked bid to sell more books, well, that's simply reprehensible. Obviously, his publishers knew this was the book's' "holy sh*t" quote, as we used to call it in television, and that's why it was "leaked" to Page 6 of the New York Post, a few days before the publish date.

Since the book wasn't on shelves when I wrote this I can't look it in context as Leary suggests so I'm perfectly willing to stand corrected once I see it. But I would be very surprised if that could explain away the nasty obtuseness of these words. There's enormous pressure on authors to be provocative, but I would think that Leary went a little beyond that. Does he need the money or the attention? No, which suggests to me that he believes it.

So let's look at the argument. Sometimes in the case of the 10 year old boy who can't say dad, it's a no-brainer. He has autism. In less severe forms, it can be more amorphous, but even if it were true that the autism spectrum disorders are being overdiagnosed, what does it matter to Leary? And what expertise would he have to make this judgment? Because he's not a fireman but he plays one on TV?

Having a child has been a wonderfully humbling experience for me. I can't believe I ever said a word about parenting practices before having a child myself. Now I see clearly the pressures on parents to do what they believe is best for their kids, and never being quite sure they're doing the right thing.

I can't imagine having the temerity to judge a parent who might be struggling to figure out if they are dealing with autism or an autism spectrum disorder.

I'm home with my son full-time so I spend countless hours observing kids with and without special needs. I think the more time you are around kids, the less apt you are to judge any parent. But Denis Leary's been pretty busy since he had his own kids. Maybe he hasn't been as "attentive" as he thinks he is.

Linda Keenan is a contributing writer at Burbia. Linda worked 7 years as a head writer/senior producer for various programs on CNN. Before that she worked as a writer/producer for Bloomberg TV. She now writes satire, primarily about parenting culture, at Thoroughly Modern Mommy...read more rants

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• Get it off your chest

That guy is major league pig!

- submitted by Anonymous on 10/21/2008

That guy is major league pig!

don't you love it when

- submitted by clebhtrr on 10/21/2008

don't you love it when celebrities act like they know anything. what's scary is how many people listen.

I'll bite

- submitted by Luckybob on 10/23/2008

In the grand postmodern tradition of making a person's statements reflect your viewpoint, I think I understand what Leary's saying and I understand the concern.

Speaking on the observations of those around me, this current generation of parents has their children and then, under the guise of "childhood development", purchase a full library of Baby Einstein/Fisher Price/your-marketing-brand-here products, puts the kid down in front of a TV with a boatload of developmental toys and wanders off to do their Yoga, chat online or whatever. That their kids become isolated with poor social skills is likely the product of being sat in front of a TV or never going outside the house. Unable to cope with that, the parents go from specialist to specialist until the kids labeled "mildly autistic".

The concern I see is not "Oh my God, a comedian made fun of a disease"; it's "Oh my God, how much more am I going to spend in taxes fueling all these special education classes that are needed for the 'mild autistic' kids?" In the city I live in, special education receives double the funding per child than regular education. The fact that so many children are being labeled autistic because of bad parenting is, to me, much more offensive than a comedian differentiating between "REAL autism" and "new autism", and it has the potential to harm the development of children with actual autism as the pool of special education programs becomes diluted with regular kids with poor development/absentee parents riding a trend.

"Early childhood development" is a marketing term. Childhood development comes from playing with other kids, falling down, developing an imagination. I work with a guy who's got two kids, the oldest of which is in pre-school. They don't read to the kids in there, they have Leapfrog stuff. They don't go on walks, they watch childhood development movies identifying things like "frog" and "leaf". They don't do group projets that encourage the development of social skills. They watch TV, play on computers by themselves and take naps.

Yes I understand the concern about mocking a real disease, but I think there should be more concern about the trendy misdiagnosis of "mild" levels of a disease.

/ my soapbox, I am off it

Luckybob FTW.

- submitted by Anonymous on 10/23/2008

Well put.

"He just has an eating disorder"

This is the real deal

- submitted by Anonymous on 10/25/2008

If all parents worked as hard as parents of special needs children do to help their children reach their potentials, there would be no politically incorrect musings from comedians for us to react to. As the parent of a "special" kid truly wishing it was "my laziness" that only needed correcting to "fix" my child, I thank all those who challenge us to be better parents and better role models. If all parents worked as hard as parents of special needs children do to help their children reach their potentials, our country would be in a much better place. Work hard, play hard, make no excuses. This is the real deal.

dont see such a problem with

- submitted by Anonymous on 10/27/2008

dont see such a problem with what he said. even author doesn't know full context and it seems to be true that we're more intensive in diagnosing lots of spectrum disorders and there does appear to be too much labeling of kids with disorders when in reality some of the kids are just being themselves or are in some area of normalcy or are just acting out, not listenjing, being lazy or something. just because you say some behaviors are being overdiagnosed doesn't mean you're a pig. this is overkill in my opinionjh.

I think Leary is a pig and

- submitted by Anonymous on 10/27/2008

I think Leary is a pig and appreciate author's interest in taking him on. but like so many of the blooggers out there who latch onto things and want to cause controversy, author here seems to be reacdting to things she's not fully informed of. I have read this authors articles and she's better than most and I would have xpected for her to treat this subject differently than most of the always outrage writers in the blogosphere. but she's entitled to a slip up here or there

denis leary is funny. He is

- submitted by mr_debauch on 11/13/2008

denis leary is funny. He is a total asshole, but funny. You dont have to agree with everything someone says to laugh at the humour. Also... he is sometimes refered to as Dr. Denis Leary. lol.

Denis Leary is a disgusting pig

- submitted by Anonymous on 12/09/2008

Denis Leary is nothing but an ugly, disgusting, pig and an ignorant, egocentric, degenerate scumbag. Denis Leary's comments weren't "taken out of context" as the scumbag, aka Denis Leary, claims----he's only saying that to cover his a**----and yes, I did read the entire chapter on autism (or "Autism Schmautism" as the scumbag calls it)----there is nothing to take out of context. And any of you who condone what Denis Leary has said about children with autism and their parents----you are ignorant, degenerate scum just like your good buddy, Denis. Unfortunately, Leary will probably sell a great number of books----that is because there are so many ignorant, degenerate scumbags out there ready and willing to fork over money to pay for garbage like Leary's book.....

Luckybob is an ignorant fool

- submitted by Anonymous on 12/09/2008

Luckybob: You are a colossal ignoramus----do you have any idea how tremendously foolish you appear carrying on and on (and on) about a subject you clearly know absolutely nothing about? I am embarrassed for you....

Take some perspective

- submitted by Anonymous on 03/18/2009

If you are too dumb to understand that comedians over-exaggerate to make actual points (like the fact that there ARE plenty of bad parents in this country who use medications as a way to control their children) maybe you're the one who needs a diagnosis.

Take some perspective

- submitted by Anonymous on 03/18/2009

"Take some perspective" is an idiot

- submitted by Anonymous on 03/24/2009

This idiot who calls itself "Take some perspective" is an effin ignorant, P.O.S. moron. Why don't you just stick your head back up your arse and shaddup.....scumbag.

Denis Leary is scum

- submitted by Anonymous on 03/24/2009

Denis Leary is an effin disgusting, nasty, filthy, rotten, FUGLY, ignorant, idiotic, degenerate, egocentric, moronic, P.O.S. scumbag pig.

me fucked up life because of doctors

- submitted by The truth on 04/10/2009

I have Been diagnosed with Asbergers syndrome and attend a special needs school. in all the time that i have been there i have not seen one kid improve this is because unlike mainstream schools they do everthing for you and i mean everthing wash you you name it and this teaches the kids to rely on the staff for everthing so as to keep them at the same level to keep them at the school so they can grab more money they are co operations by the way my school Alderwasly hall is part of senad wich is owned by some eastern royal faimly. My shithole school recently got rid of its year 11 prepare for leaving school programe thing [it was written in the memo i stole by the way] because they ware losing money and they needed to keep the kids. my school has a multia disipllenerey programe witch bascally means that differnt rules for differnt people wich is bullshit beacause it teaches kid that some rules don't apply to them how is this going to help tham in sociaty.going to the orgional point i agrre with the book

My opinion

- submitted by The truth on 04/10/2009

by the way my spelling, grammar and sentence structure is actually very good in real life its just that i was rushing, I do not feel that I'm autistic because I attend local youth clubs Cadets without my schools/parents/social work knowledge or support and there are my closest friends because they do not discriminate against me because of my apparent disorder this is because they do not know. I was fine in mainstream for 7 years but at home i never listened to my parents because they used to hit me then my ass hole parents got me assessed at some clinic and apparently I got this disease but they tested me in laboratory setting not in real world settings how unfair is that. In my opinion Autistic kids are just kids who are slow to learn and will naturally catch up they don't need a special school system to learn.

Denis Leary is a POS scumbag

- submitted by Anonymous on 06/24/2009

Denis Leary is an effin disgusting, nasty, filthy, rotten, FUGLY, ignorant, idiotic, degenerate, egocentric, moronic, piece of $hit scumbag pig.

Fat, Lazy & Stupid

- submitted by Steve on 09/18/2009

My youngest is now in third grade which gives me pause to think back on my own childhood. When I grew up there was perhaps 5-6 actual 'retarded' kids in a school of 6-800 students. When I drop my three off at their schools now I see dozens upon dozens of 'differently abled' (as described by their parents) children 'hanging about'. Is this a result of women waiting too long to have children (with their offspring bearing the brunt of accumulated damage) or just Fat, lazy parenting? I only ask, because of my parents 8 children, none had problems, nor of the 15 grandchildren or (oddly enough) any cousins. We were just normal kids, did average in university and are now raising normal, average children. How is it that with the best diet & healthcare ever we can have such a growing problem? Can't be the parenting, must be TV's fault.

Do your research

- submitted by Anonymous on 10/08/2009

Get real and use your brain. Leary wasn't suggesting that ALL kids diagnosed with autism are lazy and stupid. He was merely saying that some bad parents are looking for an excuse to justify a child that can't compete academically, and being diagnosed with "autism" provides that excuse. We live in a world where people will do everything possible to avoid reality.

Here is an analogy: Some blacks have truly been discriminated against because of skin color. Other blacks, however, may play the "race card" and might, for example, accuse their white boss of racism when the boss gives a promotion to the hard working white person who earned it instead of a black employee who doesn't work as hard.

It's a lot easier to find an excuse for hardship (i.e., "my boss is racist" or "my son is autistic") than it is for people to face reality (i.e., "the white employee was more qualified" or "my son is just lazy and I'm a bad parent").