And now, more immunition for the truly insane, over-zealous, control-freak sports parents! Instead of enduring the painfully slow process of watching their children grow up and discover their athletic strengths and weaknesses (which can, literally, take years), a company is offering genetic testing of young children to reveal which sports they are likely to excel at and which are, frankly, a waste of time.

One eager mother told The New York Times that being able to match her child with the right activity (who knew he was genetically pre-destined for curling?) could "prevent a lot of frustration." Indeed, who would really want their child to grow up dreaming of playing for the Yankees or dancing for The New York City Ballet if the DNA says otherwise? Wouldn't a good parent shield their child from those kinds of delusions? Dreaming? Bah-hum bug! Not in this competitive age!