- submitted by . on 01/02/2009
Attention: Please Do Not Climb On Wing When Plane Is 37,000 Feet
When cruising recently on a plane above the ocean, approaching the mountains (shortly after hearing the flight attendant tell us to fasten our seatbelts and stop wondering about the cabin) we spotted this warning on the wing...Thank God -- because we were just about to smash through the window, jump onto the wing and walk beyond the line into the "forbidden area." And I'm pretty sure if we did -- walk "Outside" the permited "Area" -- we would have experienced a pretty sudden and unwanted death.*
*FYI, shssh...we know this warning probably wasn't meant for passengers. Thing is, for us folks in coach, every time we look out the windows we see it, as much as we see the "fasten seatbelts" sign. So it's still funny, incongruous...hearing/seeing all the "real" warnings -- seat belts, tray tables, floatation devices, etc -- then turning and seeing this one. (Just wanted to be clear for those "literalists" out there.) At the same time, though, if it's for maintenance workers, it's almost equally silly:
- If you notice, the 2 parallel warnings are on the same section of the wing--including the section supposedly you're supposed to stay off of; yet from each of the section sides/perspectives, the warning seems to say, stay off of the "other" section. Uh, confusing, inconsistent?
- WTF do you need to have a sign on there for maintenance workers whose job it is to maintain the wings? If they need to be told constantly to not jump on the wings, maybe it's time to reassign them to a job that demands a little less focus...like airport security?
- Out of curiosity, we contacted an airline about these signs. Spoke to a few people. Not wanting to reveal too much -- surprise -- they acknowledged it was ridiculous, pointing out (a) most planes don't have these signs & those that do usually aren't so visible, (b) their maintenance staff of course knows what to do on wings, & (c) they're not even 100% sure it's meant to apply to staff; I mean, why would they need it for staff, they asked...they already know what to do and not do on wings. EXACTLY.
Finally, 1 additional thought. A couple people at the airlines suggested it wasn't for the staff -- or couldn't reasonably be. So maybe, we're now thinking, it was meant for us...the cattle in coach. We're back there, so cramped we're losing circulation in our legs, and we're sitting next to a window. Maybe some of us, acting completely reasonably, would choose the freedom of the wings over the cell-block constraint of the coach-seat. And so the airlines in their wisdom simply provide a gentle nudge to stay where we are. Of course, they'd never admit the warning is for us -- would they? -- but there it is. And have you ever seen a passenger try to escape to the wings, despite the often excruciating pain of sitting in the coach chair? There you go. ...
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