That's right. The new deluxe authentic Swiss Army Knife. Sure, it's a little pricey ($1400); but you've got to pay to be able to clean out your shot gun, repair your bicycle chain and sheer the toughest reinforced steel in the world...with the same tool.

This baby comes loaded with "87 precision engineered" tool-blade-instrument thingies. It's got a laser pointer. It's even got a special blade to gut and scale those stubborn fish you run across when...well, when you happen to run across them.

It won't fit easily in your pocket (unless your pants are the size of a 16-wheeler) but it's the perfect gift for Easter or any of the festive Spring holidays...particularly for those discerning friends or loved ones who've always wanted to hack-saw through a concrete building while simultaneously fine-tuning the water pressure on their garden hoses.