In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above . . . so I never have to go upstairs.

--Steven Wright

Number of carpenters in U.S.: 1,764,000

-US Census

added on: 11/04/2009

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Overheard - added on 08/05/2009

If I Knew, I'd Tell You. But I Don't, So I Can't

Guy 1: I have no idea what you're talking about.

Woman 1: You know.

Guy 1: I don't know.

Woman 1: You know.

Guy 1: No. I don't know.

Woman 1: You do.

Guy 1: (gets up from table) I'll be back in a minute, after I shoot myself. ...overhear more

--Overheard in: Diner, New Hope PA--

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