B-Rant

- submitted by s.levenstein on 03/16/2010

  

Top 10 Best Offensive Fences

By Steve Levenstein

It's been said that good fences make good neighbors but the opposite is also true: bad fences drive good neighbors nuts. These 10 crazy (sometimes offensive) fences fall in the latter category -- they're picket fences worth picketing! They're also pretty entertaining...

10) Bra Fence

_____________

(source)

Ahh, New Zealand, where men are brave and sheep are nervous. Our kiwi cousins don't make the news very often and if the Cardrona Bra Fence is any indication, they'd probably prefer it that way. Located alongside a country road and guarded by - yes - a sheep farmer, the fence got its start in late December of 1999 when drivers noticed 4 bras attached to a wire fence. By the spring of 2006 the tally stood at 800 or so - at which point the local council discovered the fence was on public land and ordered the bras removed. Note to tourists planning trips to New Zealand: local councils can order bras to be removed.

9) Surfboard Fence

(source)

Hang ten? Slap together a surfboard fence like this in your subdivision and it'll be YOU who's hanging. Seriously, a fence made of surfboards makes about as much sense as a bed in a sandbox... even if your last name is Wilson.

8) Birdhouse Fence

(source)

A fence grows in Brooklyn... covered in birdhouses! Or is that "boidhouses"? Any way you say it, the fence at the corner of Lenox Rd and East 43rd St is for the birds and the owner, a Panamanian-born Vietnam vet named Manny, likes it that way. Manny's birdhouse fence has been tweet-ening up this little corner of Flatbush for about 20 years. No shi... well actually, you wouldn't want to park your car there.

7) Toothbrush Fence

(source)

Evidently jealous of all the attention being given to the Bra Fence, another New Zealander has set up the Toothbrush Fence. Explains Laird McGillicuddy Graeme Cairns, whose name is longer than the dentally-challenged fence, "All we need to do is add a few more hundred toothbrushes and people will flock from all over the world to see it, I'm sure." Er, would somebody explain to Mr. Cairns that a fence of bras - actually ANYTHING to do with bras - sparks interest. A toothbrush fence is just a boob job.

6) Bicycle Frame Fence

(source)

Where do old bicycles go to die? This fence, it seems. An unknown number of bikes were used to create this double-deck metal fence and though the wheels have been removed the seats remained. Kinda makes "riding the fence" a lot more fun.

5) Shell Casing Fence

(source)

"Neighbor Wars" are taken a whole lot more seriously in Laos, it seems. Any trespassers thinking of going "over the top" had best do so, very, very carefully. Shell casing fences like the one in Laos are probably not all that uncommon in former (and current) war zones, especially in poorer countries where wood has more value as fuel and firewood. Can you imagine such a fence in American suburbia? The horror! The horror!

4) Ski Fence

(source)

Old cartoons used to feature characters stuck in snowy climes skiing out of trouble using a couple of slats snatched from a picket fence. In real life (or at least, in Colorado), characters snatch skis from dumpsters and ski shop junk piles and use them to make fences.

3) Pencil Fence

(source)

Not getting enough lead in your chain link fence? Try a pencil fence - it won't ever smudge and it never needs sharpening. You don't have to be a sky-writer to own a pencil fence but don't be surprised if the neighbors start calling you a pencil-neck geek. Will your community take kindly to your setting up a pencil fence? Probably not... you can see the writing's on the wall.

2) Graffiti Interrupted Fence

(source)

How to explain this fence... does the tagger stutter? Does he/she only spray every other day? Does the fence look the same on the opposite side? Maybe the fence works like one of those Mad magazine Fold-Ins, with a secret message that's only displayed when the painted pickets are properly lined up.

1) Bowling Ball Fence

(source)

Well strike up the band, spare no expense and forgive me for dragging the discussion down into the gutter! The bowling ball fence built by Chris Barbee of Nowata, Oklahoma, is now 80 feet long. Now that takes a lot of balls... and Barbee is accepting donations of them. Says Chris, "If I'm not home, they can kick the balls out into my yard." I'm guessing Chris's neighbors are thinking along those same lines....read more rants