B-Rant

- submitted by b-team on 11/24/2009

  

Yard Sales... Shouldn't They Be Illegal?

A lot's been written about finding the best yard sales, discovering "bargains" you never dreamed possible.

Here's our take -- Burbia's advice on how to deal effectively (rationally) with yard sales in your neighborhoods.

First, ask the primary reasonable question: Don't most towns have dumps for this kind of stuff? Yes, they do. And that should guide your next steps (which almost certainly will lead you directly away from the yard and back into your car).

If, against your (OK, our) better judgment, you proceed into the yard sale, here are the keys:

Burbia 3-second rule: If you look at the stuff on sale and your first visceral reaction is, incinerate or kindling, all subsequent reactions are invalid, actually pyschopathic, and you should flee the sale ASAP.

In all events do not buy that aquamarine porcelain thing in the shape of an oversized gall bladder with the crack down the middle that you're thinking looks kind of "interesting" and might really make a good table lamp base. It won't. You're going to regret it. Your spouse-partner is going to laugh and then scream and possibly cry, and you're only going to have to leave it out in front of your house next week for the garbage people to cart away (at an extra cost for oversized electrical items in the shape of human internal organs)....read more rants